Love: Affirmation, Time, Physical Touch, Service, Gifts
Updated: Feb 8
Are you someone who enjoys words of affection or would you rather be given a long hug? Maybe you hate hugs and just want to spend quality time with your loved ones and friends. Your love language can tell people around you information they may have never known. The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.
In October 2010, Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, compiled the results of 10,000 participants to find the percentages for each love language. 23% of the results were words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service were both 20%, physical touch was 19% and receiving gifts was the final 18%. While this survey was taken 10 years ago, these statistics are still reliable for how the results are today.
Words of affirmation is the most common love language. The best way to show your support for this group is by always supporting them and making sure they feel appreciated. Instead of going in for the big hug that you may enjoy, tell them how proud you are of them. Many individuals try to please others so that they can get positive feedback that makes them feel good about themselves. Do you know someone whose love language is words of affirmation? Try writing them letters that show you appreciate them and try to steer away from hugs or giving them big extravagant gifts. Be prepared to be flooded with notes or when you are around your friends, they may always be encouraging others and celebrating the little victories.
Acts of service, which is tied for second most common, is more than just giving gifts and doing little things. When a person's love language is acts of service, you will see them always trying to please others by doing anything they can do to make others happy. They will be the first person to shoot their hand up to volunteer to help others. If your friend group is filled with people whose love language is act of service, look out for the little moments that you can do to help them. If you need help on weekends, call your friends and ask them. Even though these are the friends who are there to help, do not be afraid to do something for them. If you see one of them needs help, reach out, they will see how much you truly care.
Quality time, tied for second, is where you will find the friends who just want to be there for you in your time of need. Do you know a friend who just enjoys hanging out, who is willing to go for a car ride or sit in silence in with you? These friends are the ones who just want to spend quality time with their friends and family. If you know someone like this, try inviting them to a movie, or just to a quiet evening of relaxing.
Physical touch is the fourth most common love language out of the five. People with this as their love language are normally the friends who offer a hug or want to hold hands with a loved one. Physical touch means that they enjoy a connection where they are in contact with another person or group. If you are friends with someone whose love language is physical touch, here are somethings that you can do to help them. Your friend may just need a long hug, even if that is not your love language, try it, so you can help them through their time of need. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone to give them a hug so they can see you are trying.
The last love language is receiving gifts. If this is your love language, Christmas or your birthday is probably your favorite time of the year. Being able to open gifts brings a joy to your life unlike any other. Whether it is a pack of socks, or a heartfelt note with a picture frame of you, opening that gift just makes you feel good. If you know someone who’s love language is gifts, always be willing to surprise them with something little every now and then. This will show them how much you care about them.
Whether you like a hug or just a simple note, everyone’s love language is different and makes them special. Maybe you are a combination of two or three of them. Whatever the case may be, never be afraid to show yours and let people know what makes you happy. If you know someone with a certain love language, be willing to reach out and show them you care. Love languages are a universal language that allows people around you to know what makes you, you. If you are interested in knowing your love language, take this love language quiz and find the quiz that best fits you.